How I’ve Maintained Self-Alignment In Transition
This blog post was meant to be released in 2018 when I was 5 months into living in Washington, DC. And now almost 3 years later, in the middle of two pandemics (COVID + racial), I write to you from my childhood home in Miami, Florida. Like a few people I know and admire, the beginning of summer found me packing up my apartment and moving back into the nest with my family. I realize I had to act quickly because the anxiety of a global respiratory disease is enough to make me worry about myself, yet, my parents who are creeping up in age plus a dependent brother with Down syndrome. Home was where my heart was.
While sudden change and transition is scary, especially in 2020, the Makisha DC bred me to be helped get me ready. While I just learned to extend grace to myself, I have to be transparent. I fell way off. Passion projects, communication with folks, my healthy, you name it. But you know what? I’m still extracting what’s important for me while adapting to this “new normal”. We’ll never stop seeking normalcy, huh? While I figure out what’s working for me that’ll be helpful for your journey, take a look into how I adapted in transitions when I moved to a brand new city. Because as we know, change is one of the only guarantees in life.
April 9, 2018
Location: Washington, DC
Transition has a way of disrupting all normalcy that you’re used to. Depending on your perception, this can be a great thing. Five months ago, I intentionally brought disruption to my flow. Intending to grow personally and professionally, I went from deciding to spend a weekend in Washington DC, to not purchasing a return flight back home to Miami. I decided to move to D.C. with nothing but 2 months of rent and no job prospects. I got exactly what I prayed for and sometimes the outcome is not so glamorous. Moving to a brand new city knowing virtually no one was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made in my life.
Over the past 20 plus years, I created a rhythm for myself in the sunshine state of Florida. I had my flow, with my gym being less than a 10-minute drive from home, mama’s cookin’ hot and ready on the stove, and my best friend’s house a stone’s throw away. The bill-less me was living! I established harmony that to the average outsider, didn’t need to be changed. But then a craving soon came for me to trek the path less taken. As much as I tried to control every single aspect of my life, things weren’t remaining in place how I liked them to be. Soon after, I started to sense the much-needed change, mentally and emotionally. While I practice a balance of idealism and pragmatism, my cup overflowed and I knew it was time to bust a move.
As I slowly revealed those closest to me that the time had arrived, I received well-meaning responses. I also received some tough love warning that it didn’t make sense to move until I secured a full-time job. But, it’s almost as if time was waiting for me to step into the next phase of my purpose, full-time job or not.
So, I took this single step to create alignment when this transition threw me off:
I evaluated my values and took practical steps to live them out.
We must make it common practice to review our values regularly. For you, this can be daily, for others, it can be weekly. We’ve all experienced transitions in our lives from moving out of the house to college or to being single after being in a five-year long relationship. Along the way, it becomes easy to re-align our values based on your current situation or personal/professional relationships. As I was considering this seemingly untimely move, I took the time to evaluate the driving forces that kept me sane in Miami and fueled my days.
A few of my values include a Christian faith community and solitude. I believe the whole phenomenon of Millennial fleeing churches is very valid and while I disconnected from my church in Miami, I knew that lack of community added to the misalignment I felt. I then made it my goal to seek a spiritual, faith-based group that was deeply committed to the community. As my faith was put to the test, I realized a church community was in fact what I wanted and needed. For you, this community may be a local dance studio. My former roommate and now a friend has flourished at her dance studio and that community anchors her in this city.
I also recognized a newfound value, deep solitude. There is no better time to connect with yourself than moments when you can only lean on you. While my friends and family were only a phone call away, I soon realized that self-reliance in terms of emotional and mental wellness was key. Self-reliance is not necessarily antagonistic to interdependence but a key practice for a full life.
fin
When I looked back on this write up I started two years ago, I realized that some things don’t finish, they merely evolve. Change and transition used to and still do feel so uncomfortable. I remember constantly feeling so frustrated that stability felt so out of reach. But I learned that stability can still exist in transition if it starts mentally.
What are some ways you’ve adapted to this year's changes, challenges, and bullsh**?
Comment below!